Neutral Good
Gil
Posts 156 posts
Character Age
9
Character Gender
Female
Played By
Light
|
Post by Sytry Veinis re Despaire on Sept 4, 2015 20:23:54 GMT
SYTRY VEINIS RE DESPAIRE Titles: The Companion, Kitten, Young Mistress, Butterfly Age: 9 Gender: Female Race: Dragon Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual World: Oephus Disposition: Neutral Good
Battle Information Class/Classes:
Sytry's main element, and only one at the moment, is Fire. She learnt the basics of controlling it, such as breath attacks and other spells. She's still young though, and has never really had to use it against anything other than a training dummy.
Personality Sytry is a quiet, simple drake that is just coming into herself and discovering just who she is and what she can do. She's curious much like a cat, and loves to be paid attention to by those that would give it to her, even complete strangers. There's no sense of danger with her, because she hasn't learnt the hard truth that there are people out there that can and would hurt her terribly so.
Mindful of her surroundings and extremely observant, Sytry tends to be on the more silent, nodding and shaking her head kind of conversationalist. Words--she didn't really need to use them growing up because she had been spoiled rotten by her brother and the servants that took care of her. She doesn't understand that a lot of people had to earn what they have, because it was there for her, and she doesn't get it that a lot of people are just as scared as they are in awe of dragons.
LIKES • Four leaf clovers • Flying • Shopping • Pancakes • Fried fish • Swimming • Racing • Board games • Playing in the rain • Festivals, parties, etc. • Bright colors • Getting lost, taking journeys to train • Bird watching • Taking cat naps
| DISLIKES • Card games • Boring work • Green vegetables • Dogs • Really hot weather • Having sweets taken from her • Getting yelled at • Supernatural things like ghosts • Having arguments with friends • Dull colored clothing • Getting snuck up on • Expectations of her being greater than she is
| HOBBIES • Playing the piano • Taking cat naps with different people • Searching for her brother • Collecting shiny things • Searching for four leaf clovers
| FEARS • Being betrayed by someone close to her • Getting eaten • Not being able to find her brother • Losing an important person • Dark, closed spaces
| STRENGTHS • Good at working with others • Extremely fast
| WEAKNESSES • Extremely inexperienced in real combat • Not good at taking many hits
|
Appearance HUMAN FORM
Height: 47 IN Weight: 55 LBS Eye Color: Red Hair Color: White Skin: Pale White Clothing style: Dark gothic dresses centered around red and black coloring Notable features: N/A
DRAGON FORM
(Picture used for reference, not actual size)
Height: ABOUT 4 FT when standing up Weight: No known weight Eye color: Red Scale color: White/gray Notable Features: N/A
History Her life began in Dratia, hatched from an egg that was left in her brother’s care. They dwelled in the mountains separating the snow and the forests far north, and were for the most part a small group of recluse dragons that didn’t go out much more than they needed to in the face of the public. One year when her father was out one his way to Dratia to check on his pact holder, there was a fire that spread across the city. He saw that it was a severe danger and in his rush, put out the flames for them. This led to him meeting the last Emperor, and the small dragon family earning the title of Nobility from them for the deed.
Her father had been a contractor that had reached the end of his life a few months after her egg had been laid, and had been unable to see her come into the world. Her mother had been there for them, looking over the two and continuing where her sons training had left off after her husband had died and they were given time to mourn. With the new title she moved them into Dratia, out of the harsh weather and into a home of sorts, Sytry’s egg hatched four months after being laid due to the weather conditions that she had been laid in and the rough surroundings changing from icy to warm and comfortable.
Her mother was important to her, but Sytry loved her brother most of all. After her mother would teach her magic, or whatever lesson she had planned when the girl was old enough, her brother would be the one to swoop in and take her outside, and walk around the city to look at the people from on his shoulder. When he disappeared one day, she was distraught. Her mother? Not that much, seeing as it was time for him to go out and be his own at the time. Sytry didn’t want him to leave her yet though, and saw his disappearance as more than a coming of age journey.
So she decided to take her own.
Sytry threw together a satchel and left the city in the cover of the night, to not worry her mother and those working for them too much with her absence. This of course didn’t go as planned, and the family’s servants began to search high and low for her along with her mother, only to be evaded constantly by her whenever she caught scent of them. Finding her brother is her goal—and along the way, she's learned that she wants to discover more of the world that she lives in, so currently she's begun to pay attention to the many different people that walk around and how they live so differently from the way she has been raised.
Other ACCEPTED Characters |
|
|
Administrator
This is all just testing text to see how it looks on the mini-profile, mostly so that others see.
Gil
Posts 193 posts
|
Post by Admin on Oct 30, 2015 7:07:19 GMT
Pending There's a few things that need changing here so I'll list them and it's mostly to do with your history.
• Image - White for a fire dragon?... I'd have assumed ice or light, so I'm going to just assume that her to be second element will be one of those two since dragons usually have SOME SORT of tell tale sign usually color for what sort of attacks they're going to have, fire dragons are usually a reddish color if you've ever noticed that, darkness are usually black, ice is usually white or light blue possibly even a light green. Acid or Nature for plants etc are usually green... The list goes on really, but she needs SOME sort of tell tale sign for what element she uses primarily.
• Size - okay so she's a hatchling, she shouldn't be a teenage sized dragon (which would be around 300 or so years+) she's just a baby in their eyes and so I'd say she'd probably be around 4 or 5 feet maximum standing up.
• History - There's a lot of points that need to be tackled here.
- Dragons take pilgrimages to Dratia and are revered in Dratia, meaning it's not common for them to be living there. If dragons were so common place to be living there they wouldn't be so revered because people would know way more about them.
- Drakes is the short hand for a Half-Drake, dragons are dragons, drakes/half-drakes are half dragon half something else so that needs to be changed to dragon or people will get confused.
- That little sentence at the end isn't enough for a nobility spot more so when they are from Dratia and Dratia has no alliegience to Estraeole. So they wouldn't bother knighting or calling that family lords and ladies, think of something else that actually has to do with Dratia itself. Estraeole has no mayors or even royals so they wouldn't just go 'lol here be a noble.' they don't really have anyone to give those titles out. It'll just be self proclaimed if you do it this way, I dropped an idea on skype but I'll put it here too, maybe the family single handedly put out a fire that would've spread across part of Dratia or something and the Emperor gave them the title for protecting part of the country, could even be somewhat recent within the last 5 years and Phi could've given it to them.
What even? years?? Um, maybe change that to a few months rather than years, years is kind of ridiculous for any egg to hatch. Incubation for birds tends to take two weeks, so if we use that as a guideline I'd say around two months for a dragon egg would suffice, or you could just remove the time it took completely, if she took super long to hatch she'd be tiny and a runt of the brood struggling to survive which also leads back to her size being far too large as a dragon at the mere age of nine. However, an egg could I think take up to about six months IF and only if, they were in a place that was very cold and harsh, so the mountains or any icy cave etc.
So her mother isn't very wise then I guess, like the description of dragons says, not because she went and suicided (which is extremely selfish and unwise) but because she left her egg in a TOWN where it could get smashed or taken by a stranger... Dragons generally wouldn't if they're wise lay their eggs in a town with humans and God knows what other races running around because history has proven there's always one who decides to do something cruel. Even if Dratia is pro dragon, a lot of people might not be and would take that chance to destroy a dragon egg. I myself had Rowe be born in the mountains because people generally don't go up mountains very often, it's too cold for them and there's all sorts of things that they need to fight against that dragons can overcome rather easily.
Not only that but without a parent who is she really going to learn from? Sure a brother is useful but he can't teach her all the life lessons a parent who's well over 500 years could. Plus if they've been around for a long time (I assume they're at least in adulthood as a dragon so that'd be 1000+ years) they'd have been through some shit, so for a dragon to suicide it doesn't make sense unless they were protecting their young from attack and were felled, dragons tend to be rather protective of their young unless they've got a few screws loose. It honestly doesn't make sense for her mother to just go off and willingly die, sorrow is part of life, death is also a part of life it isn't something to be mourned over but the life of the individual and what they meant to you should be celebrated they brought you happiness, wise dragons would understand this and over come it for the sake of their family not go and kill themselves.
I'm not sure what to think of this, is she bound to their ghosts or something? How would it be 'engraved on her soul' unless she was literally soul bound to them?? It doesn't make sense.
- Horde, that would imply a considerably large amount of dragons.... a large group of people. "a horde of beery rugby fans" an army or tribe of nomadic warriors. "Tartar hordes" a small loosely knit social group typically consisting of about five families. Please change this as dragons aren't super common in Dratia leading back to my first point on the history.
You may have meant hoard not horde, since those despite sounding the same... Are completely different things, but even then, 'the old dragon hoard' that would imply they've been in Dratia for a VERY long time.
With the way that history ends it makes me go 'And then?... Then what happened?' there's no definitive ending here so it looks unfinished. This was actually the point that made me question if this app was actually finished or not because of how that ended. It might be an idea to say:-
'Finding her brother is her goal—and along the way, she's learned that she wants to discover more of the world that she lives in, so currently she's begun to pay attention to the many different people that walk around and how they live so differently from the way she has been raised.
That would tie off the ending rather tidily I think.
Just reply to this when you're done editing and what have you.
|
|
|
Administrator
This is all just testing text to see how it looks on the mini-profile, mostly so that others see.
Gil
Posts 193 posts
|
Post by Admin on Oct 30, 2015 13:39:06 GMT
|
|